Happy Be-lated Mother's Day

I just celebrated my 3rd Mother's Day and I can finally say that I finally have that "real" feeling of being a mom.  I could just be that I have finally found my "mom grove" or that my son now actually calls me "Mama" (and MOM very loudly in the morning with he wakes up).  All in all I have come to the conclusion that being someone's mom is an on going transformation that takes on many shapes and sizes.  I was blessed enough to spend the day with my own mother, she always has the uncanny ability to make me feel like a her child and also a mom of my own all at the same time.  I celebrate my mother as well as every other mom I know everyday (always in a little prayer at the beginning of my day).  Every "Mother" figure in my life has taught me something and we are forever bonded in the "motherhood".

some inspiration for my fellow moms:

"As is my mother, so is her daughter."  - Ezekiel 16:4

"Men are what their mothers made them."  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"We never know the love of the parents until we become parents ourselves."  - Henry W. Beecher

"Love MAMA."  - My son

"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off.  They are a vacationless class."  - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother."  - Lin Yutang

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.  They cling to me all my life."  -Abraham Lincoln

So to all the mom's who have are still waiting to become moms, ones with babies, teenagers, grandkids, and great-grandkids I celebrate you!

From one of my favorite Bloggers Scary Mommy

Motherhood is when, just as you want to curl up into a ball of pure exhaustion and desperation, one of your children suddenly farts or burps or does something spontaneously funny. It’s the moment when you dissolve into a hysterical fit of laughter; the kind that you haven’t had since you and your seventh grade BFF were caught passing notes about which boy in your class you’d most want to be stuck in a closet with. It’s the moment you pause and look at your children, all piled on your bed, breathless and rosy cheeked, and think that the only things that really matter in the world are right there in front of you. They are yours, and they are worth every sacrifice and sleepless night.

AMEN

Stay at Home Mom aka SAHM

It seems hard to believe that I have been blessed enough to able to stay at home with Gabriel (I sometimes feel like I am still on maternity leave though). When Greg and I first talked about having a family having me be a SAHM was what we wanted and we have done everything to make it happen (both of us grew up with SAHM). Making the choice to stay home was an easy one for us, however its the sacrifices that you have to make that get challenging. Coming off of two incomes isn't easy (to say the least) also you are coming off of being a single couple not really knowing just how much money you are going to be spending on your new life. I now know what diapers are the thriftiest (the cheapest without losing the quality), that no matter how many toys we have in the house Gabe would always rather play with a bowl and spoon, and how to get ready in under 15 minutes with a kid under my feet. I miss work for it's predictability (I worked at a bank after all) when you are raising a child there really isn't any thing that you can predict (the only thing that I can predict is that Gabe will sleep good at night everything else is up for grabs).

For example: no naps two days in a row, horrible diaper rash that meant diaper less baby for an afternoon (got good practice using the big boy potty though), when a ball comes flying at your face out of no where, trying to figure out what he asking for (I can interpret most of what he says so he gets frustrated when I can and so do I), trying to get excited about swinging him for 30 minutes (I really try but if you aren't the one swinging it really isn't as fun)

Being at my old job would be easier but personally I don't like easy because it just gets boring and who wants that?

Baby No. 2 Cont’d

My baby is a year younger than Annie’s, but her post still totally resonates with me!  I feel like I had a baby and for the first 6 months there was no question that obviously I wasn’t trying for a second, and then after that you start getting the inquiries (although things don’t really ramp up until the first birthday).

“So, have you two started talking about baby number 2??”

And it’s just so hard!  Here’s the issue.  I definitely don’t want 2 babies right at this moment in time.  I don’t even particularly want to have 1 baby and be pregnant with a second baby right now.  But what about in 5 years?  Then will I be glad my kids are close together? 

Much like many other areas of motherhood, child spacing seems to be kind of a joke in that no one ever really knows what they’re doing.  It’s all just a best guess scenario.  I mean maybe you’re convinced you want your kids close together and you just adore changing diapers and fighting about nap times and wiping up the floors 3 times a day (I assume because you have some sort of self-hate issue. KIDDING! sort of…), but it’s not like wanting a second child is all it takes.  You also have to actually get pregnant.  So what I’m saying is, you could totally try early for a second and then it suddenly takes months or years.  Or you could want to wait for a second but suddenly you’re that 0.3% of women who get pregnant on the pill.  You just never really know, right?

It all boils down to the fact that I think in 5 years I’ll be happy that my kids are close in age.  Which I guess means yes, we’re thinking about baby number 2.

We’ll see what happens.

Baby No. 2

It seems to be the question that not only you are thinking but also the question that everyone asks. "So when you thinking you'll have the next one?" and these questions usually start right after you have the 1st one (not unlike people asking when your gonna start having kids after you get married). And of course I believe that when and how you start a family is really no one else's business but you and your spouses. That being said there are literally endless amounts of articles and research on the subject not to mention the way you and your siblings were spaced coming into play.

As for me the first month of Gabe's life I thought one kid was perfect (I was exhausted lets face it, as a first time mom we all know how it is). I thought one was great until Gabe was around 18 months old.... I finally saw the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. In a moment I looked at him and said to myself he has so much love inside of him that a sibling would not only be a blessing to my husband and I but also Gabe would be so loving to a brother or sister. Of course this feeling has only grown over the past 6 months and after Gabriel turns 2 I think we are ready to start trying again. We were so blessed to conceive Gabe within the first month of trying however I do know that isn't always the case so the early we start the better.

Sibling Spacing:

In my family we are all really close my brother was 19 months old when me and my twin sister came along. In my husbands family his older brother was only 15 months when he was born. So we are no strangers to close spacing however for us we wanted the time and space between our children (hopefully children: knock on wood).

As a mom I have perfected my french toast which Gabe loves to have for breakfast. I recently left the grocery store with one wet foot because Gabe had dumped have a bottle of juice on it. I get big hugs from Gabe now and they are so random, like when I'm doing the dishes and he comes up behind me and hugs my legs (I call it a butt hug b/c his head hits my backside). Washing Gabe's lovie "Bow" is a task that takes great distraction on my part and meltdowns always happen (considering that Bow does everything with Gabe he needs to be washed pretty regularly). Cleaning with a toddler is both instructive and LONG seeing as he likes to make a mess of whatever I am attempting to clean, on the flipside he understands what cleaning is and mimics all the things I do!

They grow up to fast it's as simple as that and now when I look at my little Gabe I see a "boy" and not a "baby", I cherish every moment and can't wait for each new day to bring new discoveries.

Mom-Hair, or “Childbirth-pattern baldness”

One of the perks of pregnancy is that you get this thick, lustrous hair.  Well, to an extent.  I have fine but sort of rough light brown hair.  Unattractively wavy on its own (due to uneven curling and a tendency towards frizziness), but it’s also relatively easy to straighten.  Many a day have I lusted after the almost unnaturally shiny, super-thick, dark brown locks of all about half those other girls. 

But even MY hair got thicker and more attractive during pregnancy.  Not a lot, but some.  The reason for this isn’t that you grow more hair, it’s that the hair you already have stops falling out, so you retain more.

This is all well and good until you pop that sucker out and all of a sudden your hair starts shedding like CRAZY.  An obscene amount of hair falls out.  We had to get someone to come snake our drain every other week for a few months. 

But don’t worry.  I know it’s alarming, but this happens to most women, and it will stop.  Why, here I am myself, nearly a year into motherhood and with half a head full of downy baby hairs just starting to really grow back in.  They mostly blend into the other longer hairs, so it doesn’t look too horrible (except sometimes when I try to put it into a ponytail and have this awkward fringe in the back that’s too short for the elastic to grab). 

It’s just another one of those things that people forget to warn you about.  There are SO MANY of those. 

Being a MOM

Being a MOM.... makes you love your parents in a whole new way, most importantly it helps you to appreciate your mother in a different way (in a stronger way). I still find myself needing my mom, when I can't find the patience, need guidance, or just reassurance that I am feeling all the normal things that every mother feels. My mom gave me the greatest gift any mother can give, she showed me her humanity, meaning she let me see that she made mistakes and sometimes said the wrong things. In short so let me know that she was human (not perfect) and in doing that she showed me that it's ok to fall down, do the wrong thing, or not know what to do. And for that I thank her because it allows me the gift of being able to pick up the phone when I need her extra prayers this week for patience. My mom wasn't perfect but she was PERFECTLY my mom. She is my constant while I navigate this new world called MOTHERHOOD (she's been working in the hood for 28 years). So if you haven't called your mom this week or even today then call her/text/email her and let her know that you are always loving her because after all she is the one that taught you what LOVE means.

Memories of my mom (take time to think of yours):
waking up to the sound of my mom filling up the pool in the summer sunrise. dancing around the living room acting silly (I always loved that my mom would look silly just for us). when she would let me in her bed after I had a nightmare and then would run her hands through my hair until I feel asleep. for teaching me to pray when I was afraid, there are still times I fall asleep saying the rosary. listening to her read trivial pursuit cards to my dad while we were on road-trips (and she thought I was asleep). the fact that she made family dinner a priority in our home. how she never let me and my siblings say any mean words to one another. she always took the time to explain why she was doing something (whether it be teaching or disciplining). we always felt loved and cared for. she worked hard everyday to make our family everything that it was and everything that it still is TIGHT KNIT. manners were always expected from us and I am so thankful for that because now my son says please and thank you and I taught him without even realizing that I was doing it b/c it was so ingrained in me as a child. my father worked everyday and my mom worked everyday they made sure that we knew that nothing is handed to you in this world and you are the only one that can take care of yourself.

"We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world."
- Sameerah Shareef

"We never know the love of the parent until we become parents ourselves."
- Henry Ward Beecher

"Nobody knows of the work it makes
To keep the home together.
Nobody knows of the steps it takes,
Nobody knows-but Mother."

being a mom is an important job that never ends if you doubt this just call your mom.... she is still mothering you!

World's Best Mom

Motherhood is a choice YOU make everyday to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own. To teach the hard lesson's. To do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is..... and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.

First and foremost there is NO worlds best mom, we are all just in the trenchs doing the best that we can day in and day out. Constantly feeling like we aren't doing enough or doing to much or doing the wrong thing or not feeling any validation for all we do. Motherhood is a struggle to say the least take solace in the fact that you are not alone in feeling any of the a fore mentioned things. As I write this I am staring at my 22 month old eating grapes out of the fridge bare bottomed (he has a diaper rash and the best thing for it is diaper free time) I am trying to distract him from the fact that his lovie (a blanket dog Woofie that never leaves his side) is in the dryer because he thought Woofie needed a drink. This is the perfect example of what fills most of my days like many other mommies out there we are just living moment to moment, the best part is that the good moments out weigh the bad and when those little eyes look into yours and he says lobe you ('v' is a hard letter) it makes all the tantrums worth it.

The truth about terrible 2's: they actually happen when they are in the second year of life so month 12 thru 24. I read this somewhere (don't ask me where I read so many articles that they start to run together) and it makes total sense I just thought my little guy was starting it early turns out this the time that it actually happens. All I can say about this is learn to love the word "no" it holds a great power, tantrums may follow but if as you gain your motherly strength you will know to just ignore them because they do end and then they are on to the next activity.

what are some of your special moments that make the bad ones seem to disappear?

Trying to Conceive, or "The Most Sex You've Had Since You Started Having Sex"

Let's face it, at some point "the bloom is off the rose" as far as bedroom olympics goes. You've been there, done that, and now you've settled into a nice once or twice a week routine that more or less suits everyone involved (or once or twice a month, depending on how long you've been married).

But then you decide to have a baby, and all of a sudden it's no holds barred. You're having sex at least once a day, maybe every second day if you're really concerned about maximum sperm content. You've instantly reverted to the beginning of your relationship where you couldn't get enough of each other, and it is GREAT.

Enjoy it. Savor it. Because soon you'll be huge, and bloated, and seriously gassy, and sexy time will be the last thing on your mind. And then you'll have blown out your vagina having a baby and again, it will be the last thing on your mind. In fact, if you include that last trimester of your pregnancy, it might be about a year before you're interested in sex again at all. That's not to say you won't do it (because you are, after all, a loving and dutiful wife), but you may not enjoy it as much as you used to before, say, a baby was in the next room napping for who knows how long and you still need to do the dishes and eat something before he/she wakes up and oh crap! is that crying you hear??

But I digress.

Trying to conceive, at least in my experience, was a lot of fun. Super stressful those last few days, waiting to take a pregnancy test (or five), but also really exciting. It doesn't help that every pregnancy symptom is also a period symptom, so you're pretty much in the dark until you can take that test (unless you're one of those women with a keen intuition, of which I was not).

Last piece of advice? Don't tell people you're trying. Or at least think really hard about it first. Telling people you're trying puts a lot more pressure on the situation. Some of those people will flat out ask you every couple days if you know yet, and even with the ones who don't ask outright you'll know they're secretly wondering and dying to know. Plus if you had any thoughts of waiting until the first trimester was over to tell people, those are pretty much shot down. Hard to keep a HUGE smile off your face when people ask you how it's going and you know it's going so well that there is at that very moment a baby growing inside you. And then if it doesn't work it's even worse, because a) you feel crappy that you're not pregnant yet and b) now you have all these people basically rubbing it in with all their questions.

And that was TTC in my experience! Keep in mind I had a pretty positive experience since it only took one cycle. I really feel for the women who try for months or years, and I thank my lucky stars we got so, well, lucky.

Let your child be your teacher

I came across this quote and it really stuck in my consciousness:

"While we try to teach our children all about life. Our children teach us what life is all about."

Before I had Gabriel I use to fall victim to the thinking that life was about doing everything that I wanted to do; as I learned in the moment that Gabe first laid in my arms, life was no longer about ME at all (of course we still need to be our own people as moms I mean the former statement in the most basic way). There is a switch that just gets turned on when you hold your new born, the bond is immediate. No matter how many other women in my life (or just other parents for that matter) told me that my life would change, no amount of hearing that prepares you in anyway for the way you feel or how your life is about to change. It goes by in a flash and you will never really understand that statement until your planning a 2 year old's birthday saying to yourself "but I just came home from the hospital with my newborn."

best description I could find for what it is to be a Mom:

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose blowing. Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus. Must be able to think out of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project. Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, "He got more than me!" for the rest of your life.

Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above mentioned skills in conflict resolution. Must be able to choose your battles and stick to your guns. Must be able to withstand criticism, such as "You don't know anything." Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go skating. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fund-raiser will be your middle name. Must have a diverse knowledge base, so as to answer questions such as "What makes the wind move?" or "Why can't they just go in and shoot Sadam Hussein?" on the fly. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

I love being a mom.....even when I feel like I may cry!

Wait it's been 2 years already......

We are about to enter year 2 with Gabriel, I am both excited and scared out of my mind. Tantrums have already begun and they are pretty impressive to say the least. So before we officially kick of year 2, I wanted to take the time to help out my fellow mama's by writing down some of my favorites.... note: there is no specific theme and if you really need one I guess you could say "things I love"?

The hits of the first 2 years:

Best TV Show: Yo Gabba Gabba

I know there is plenty of research on TV's effects on children.... And I'm not discounting any of that, all I know is Gabe loves the show and the message on it is always a kind on (plus is very musical and being a music freak myself I love that my child is watching something that supports creativity). Warning: the songs will be stuck in your head!

Best Toys:

Fisher Price Dog: They can walk them around Gabe also really enjoys imaginary play with the dog, such as feeding and petting.

Phone: There are many options out there which ever one that you choose you will get a kick out of your little one pretending to call loved ones.

Keys: The ones with noises are always better they feel like mom and dad!

Keep in mind it's the little things and simple things, sometimes all it takes is a bowl and spoon to keep them content for hours. Also switching out toys every week or so helps keep them new and fresh!

Best feeding/snacks items:

Snacks:
-Raisins (easy to keep in your diaper bag for snacking)
-Hard boiled eggs (make before hand and keep in the fridge, my little one is an egg lover, bonus they are very healthy even for you to snack on)
-Fruit: pouched fruit is easy for on the go, fresh of course for at home, and canned fruit for back up in the pantry

Feeding:
-Munchkin Formula dispenser (used when I was weaning off of breastfeeding it was perfect for travel)
-Munchkin Snack Catcher (hands down best for early snackers)
-utensils with a longer handle when you are the one feeding them as for when they start feeding themselves shorter handles work a lot better (prepare yourself for a mess because they have to do it for themselves to learn)
-The First Years make a Take and Toss line perfect for errands and travel

Best Diaper Bag: I didn't start out with a backpack diaper bag but it has turned out to be my favorite because it keeps your hands free when you need them for holding the little one.

What you need when entering toodlerhood:

1. Patience
2. The art of distraction (know when to just simply change the activity)
3. A supportive partner

seeing as I still have pregnancy brain I know I will think of more favorites along the way and I promise I will add them on to future posts!